


'M I Dreaming?

by messedupstargazer



Series: Rae's Whumptober 2019 [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: But... job, Caretaker Leonard Snart, Don't copy to another site, I actually stopped watching after Season 3 episode one, I'm Bad At Everything, I'm Sorry, I've been meaning to get back into it, Leonard Snart Has a Heart, Leonard Snart Lives, Leonard Snart Takes Care of Barry Allen, Leonard Snart is Bad at Feelings, Leonard Snart is an Idiot, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Season/Series 02, Sick Barry Allen, Sickfic, Writing Summaries Tagging Literally Everything, rent - Freeform, that shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 05:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20886941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedupstargazer/pseuds/messedupstargazer
Summary: Prompt three for Whumptober- Delirium and Alt. Prompt NightmareThe virus worked fast, as Barry’s healing had been working overtime, leaving him going in and out of consciousness, unable to retain information.  If they were exposed, the virus would kill them before they could do anything to stop it.  That had also frustrated Len.  Saying that Barry would owe him a favor, Len had offered an old safe-house of his, one he actually owned and could sacrifice, saying Mick would love to see the old place burn. That way, they could actually focus on finding a way to cure the virus instead of fumbling around in Hazmat suits and Barry would be in a place that wouldn’t expose anyone else, as Len wasn’t a metahuman.  He hadn’t been expecting it, but Team Flash had been desperate enough to agree to it.





	'M I Dreaming?

Len soaked the cloth back in the water basin he’d grabbed. Barry moaned, trying to fight Len off but his arms were so weak, Len easily pushed them back down.

“Hush, Barry, it’s okay.” Len said, trying his best to be soothing. “This will help you.”

“So cold.” Barry whined at him through glazed eyes. Len doubted he had any true idea where he was or what was going on. Barry hadn’t even recognized him yet and it had been two very long days.

“You’re too hot, Barry.” Len murmured, as even for a speedster, his fever was way too high. When he’d first agreed to do this, Dr. Snow had explained to him that a speedster, due to their biological makeup to accommodate that kind of speed, ran at a higher temperature than normal humans. She had told him to add an extra two degrees to what was considered normal, as Barry’s usual resting temperature was one hundred degrees.

Barry closed his eyes again, fading back into unconsciousness.

Len was tempted to call Dr. Snow again but she still couldn’t do anything, not with the rate this disease could spread. When he had first returned to Central City after basically being blown up and reconstituted, looking for a certain speedster to remind him of what was normal and what he knew, Flash hadn’t been out to play. That had frustrated him. Yes, he liked it when he got the money he wanted but the thrill was part of the game. He wanted to toy with Flash, gamble with his life, always wanting to one up himself and Flash. After three heists with no sight of the speedster, he had gotten fed up with being ignored. So he went Star Labs, blaming his back-from-the-dead experience for his impulsivity, denying to himself that he could potentially have missed Barry, storming the Cortex, demanding to know why the great Flash was no longer paying attention to his number one nemesis. He had found an unconscious Barry on a medical bed, and Dr. Snow and Cisco Ramon in Hazmat suits with thick gloves hovering over him. They had explained that a disease, specifically designed to only affect metahumans, had been released by the latest Big Bad, a doctor who had lost a child to Zoom’s metahumans terrorizing Central City. But when Flash had taken him down, he had been exposed to the airborne virus. And since both Dr. Snow and Ramon had the metahuman gene, as Killer Frost and Vibe apparently, they couldn’t help him without risking exposure. The virus worked fast, as Barry’s healing had been working overtime, leaving him going in and out of consciousness, unable to retain information. If they were exposed, the virus would kill them before they could do anything to stop it. That had also frustrated Len. Saying that Barry would owe him a favor, Len had offered an old safe-house of his, one he actually owned and could sacrifice, saying Mick would love to see the old place burn. That way, they could actually focus on finding a way to cure the virus instead of fumbling around in Hazmat suits and Barry would be in a place that wouldn’t expose anyone else, as Len wasn’t a metahuman. He hadn’t been expecting it, but Team Flash had been desperate enough to agree to it.

That had been two days ago but it felt like a week. Barry’s fever hadn’t gone down the entire time. He’d barely slept or ate, as getting Barry to eat or cool down was nigh impossible. Dr. Snow had given Len very specific instructions on how to take care of Barry, including the few antivirals they had, but nothing she gave him was working. So he had resorted to trying to cool the speedster down manually, for lack of a better word. Dr. Snow had told him an ice bath would be too risky, as it could actually increase body temperature and if Barry’s body slowed down due to the cold, the virus could kill him faster as his healing factor, the only thing they truly had going for them right now, could cease entirely. So cool water, not cold water, and washcloths since Barry was clearly in no state to take a bath on his own. Len did the best he could as more and more time went by as Dr. Snow and Ramon went without calling with a cure. The antivirals weren’t helping him, his healing was in overdrive, his fever was sky high, and he couldn’t keep a thought in his head for any length of time. He was starting to get scared.

“Hey.” A small voice brought him out of his thoughts. Barry was awake again, staring at Len in confusion.

“Hey yourself.” Len said, laying another washcloth across his forehead.

“‘M I dreaming?” Barry murmured, glazed eyes staring into Len’s soul.

“No, you’re not.” Len answered. If this had been any other situation, he would’ve teased Barry but Barry’s mind was unable to process teasing so he didn’t. “But you do owe me one.”

For some reason, Barry smiled.

“Yo-r alive?” Barry whispered, his hand gently reaching for Len’s face.

Len was too stunned to to stop him and Barry gently cupped his face, though it was as graceful as a smack in the face.

“You’re alive.” Barry looked on the verge of tears. “Said you died.”

Len realized that the Legends must have told Barry of Len’s death before they found him again. He had been dead for about six months after all.

“I’m alive, I’m right here.” Len said. “I just need to cool you down.”

Len wrung out another washcloth, hoping to wipe away some of the hot sweat Barry was soaking into the sheets. Barry hadn’t let go of him yet. When the first drops of cooler water hit Barry’s skin, he hissed. “Cold.”

“It’s not, Barry.” Len repeated, continuing his work, wiping down Barry’s collarbone and chest. “You’re just too hot.”

“Hot?” Barry frowned. “Where’s Mick?”

“Probably off saving the timestream.” Len replied, torn. This was the longest conversation he had had with Barry since this whole thing started, but he certainly wasn’t coherent for the damn thing if he thought ‘too hot’ meant Heatwave.

“Save… save city.” Barry said, his grip on comprehension loose. “Too cold. Too hot.”

Barry smacked him in the face trying to get up. Len pushed him back down.

“City’s already saved.” Len said. “It’s okay, you did it.”

“Did it?” Barry asked, his green eyes wide, trusting and fevered.

“You did it.” Len assured him. “Stopped the bad guys. Saved the city. Everyone’s okay.”

“Dreaming.” Barry slurred, tears welling up in his eyes again. “Have to be dreaming.”

“Dreaming what, Barry?” Len asked.

“You.” Len stopped. He hadn’t been expecting that. “Not okay. You’re gone. My fault. You’re gone and you’re not coming back. Miss you.”

“You miss me?” Len asked, floored.

“Want you back.” Barry kept going. “Miss your voice. Miss your eyes. Miss you.”

A few tears slipped out. Len gently brushed them away with his thumb.

“I… missed you too.” Len admitted. With Barry as he was, he stood no chance of remembering anything Len said. Might as well speak the truth. “I missed you a lot.”

“You did?” Barry asked, his tearful eyes glistening.

“Traveling through time is… incredible.” Len said slowly. “Seeing things I never thought possible. I was a cowboy, a spy against Russia, and hell, apparently, even a bomb to stop the Time Master assholes… But as much fun as I had, stealing from everyone, breaking out of prisons, and saving the world from a homicidal maniac, I always wanted to come home. To you.”

“Love you.” Barry’s eyes fluttered, his crying spell having taken all the energy he had.

Len stared in shock as Barry fell back asleep. Len had to be dreaming. Having a nightmare. Or the virus fried his brain. No way he could’ve just admitted that he loved Len. It was impossible. They hadn’t even been dating. Sure, yes, they had a relationship filled with bantering, and trust, and an… admitted very unusual amount of sexual tension. But so many Heroes had that with their nemeses. Batman has Catwoman, he’d met Selina Kyle briefly once, she was just like him, and Green Arrow had slept with more than one of his villainesses, if Sarah’s account was to be believed. And Len, while maybe not as much of recurring villain as Reverse Flash or Zoom, was Flash’s number one nemesis. He had the ultimate blackmail on him, he had betrayed him before, though, only to have Barry come back to him once again. However, that had not been his fault. Lisa had gone to Team Flash for help, not him. And when he trusted Barry to save his sister, when he didn’t kill him on his father’s orders, despite the risk to Lisa’s life, it had been because he believed Barry could save everyone that night. And yes, he had approved Barry as a visitor when he was in prison for his father’s murder, but that was simply to thank the man for saving his sister. That couldn’t have been because Barry was in love with him. Barry was like that with others who he saw good in. It hadn’t just been him. It couldn’t have just been him.

Len started counting seconds, one of his main ways to get out of a panicked spiral. Whether Barry loved him or not, he still had a job to do. Barry loving him made no effect on making sure Barry didn’t die. When he had first offered this safehouse, he had already known in his mind he would do whatever he could to help Barry. Besides, he couldn’t get a proper answer out of the hero unless he survived, mental faculties intact. He needed himself out of his anxiety, so did Barry.

Once he’d gotten himself back in control, he realized the washcloths now matched Barry’s temperature. So he got himself back into his task at hand, taking care of the speedster. He replaced the washcloths, and replaced the pillow underneath Barry’s head, wanting to throw the pillowcase in the laundry. The sheets were next, as Barry’s sweat had soaked through them. Len worked meticulously, thinking only of his duty and not dwelling on anything personal. As he finished putting the sheets in the laundry and setting the washer, he returned to Barry.

Barry was squirming with what little energy he had, moaning almost incoherently.

“Barry, it’s alright, you’re alright.” Len murmured, in the voice he used to comfort Lisa back when they were children.

“Snart, no, no please,” Barry moaned. “No, no, no, don’t, don’t, please.”

Of course he was dreaming about Len. Made sense given his fevered brain was trying to process seeing what he considered a dead man.

“Wake up, Barry.” Len whispered. “You’re okay, wake up, Barry.”

Barry’s breathing picked up at Len’s voice, and his face screwed up in pain. “Come back, don’t leave me, please, Snart, Lenny, Lenny!” His legs kicked out, tangling the sheets, his arms weakly reaching out in random directions, as if grasping at air.

“Barry, kid, wake up! Wake up! It’s just a nightmare!” Len shouted, trying to shake his shoulders.

“NO, LEN!” Barry came awake with a scream, jolting up in bed. Len caught him by the chest, with Barry sinking into him as he became conscious.

“It’s alright, Barry, you’re alright.” Len whispered, reaching out and petting Barry’s hair. It was sweaty and greasy, but Len’s fingers were almost on fire at the feeling. He felt a desire previously unknown to him ignite, one he’d worked so hard to hide from others and from himself.

“Snart?” Barry asked, sounding coherent but exhausted.

“Call me Len, kid.” Len mumbled into Barry’s ear, thinking if he’d admitted to loving the criminal, he may as well call him by his first name.

“You’re alive?” Barry asked, and Len knew he was back to square one.

“I’m alive.” Len stated simply, fighting the urge to burrow into Barry’s hair and never come out.

Barry didn’t say anything else and neither did Len. Neither moved.

Len’s phone rang, startling them both.

“I have to answer that.” Len said, gently setting Barry down on the bed. “News?”

“We have a cure.” Dr. Snow sounded as exhausted as Len felt but triumphant. “We’re almost at your place.”

“I’ll be by the door.” Len said, hanging up. They had previously “met” there before, to give Len more antivirals once Barry had already gone through his first regiment. They’d dropped it off on the doorstep and Len had only opened the door after they were back inside their van.

Len waited by the door, just in case. Dr. Snow and Ramon arrived within five minutes, hoping out of their car. They dropped a small package and a small note on his doorstep before running back to their car. He snatched it up without further ado.

_Snart-_

_This cure should absolutely work for Barry, I designed it specially for him, and I tested it on samples of his DNA that we’ve used in the past. But since this cure is for Barry alone, we can’t give it to him ourselves. I haven’t designed a cure for all metahumans, the virus keeps evolving to affect certain powers differently, so if I get infected, we’re back to square one. Call me immediately, I’m still waiting outside. I’ll walk you through administering it._

_Caitlin Snow_

He did as she asked, and she gave him exact step-by-step directions he followed to the letter.

“How will I know if it works?” Len asked, once the cure was in Barry’s sleeping system.

“His fever should break within the hour.” Dr. Snow replied. “He should become lucid after that.”

“Great. You’ll take him after that then, I’m sure.” Len sighed.

“Actually, I’m not so sure.” Dr. Snow said hesitantly. “Because this thing evolves so quickly, I need to make sure that Star Labs is cleared before we bring him back. If another strain has evolved that I can’t fight, we’re back to square one. And I’m not even sure when exactly Barry won’t be contagious anymore. I needed to focus on curing Barry before this killed him before I worried about how long someone could be contagious.”

“So how long do I have to keep him here?” He asked.

“One more day and I should have all the answers I need.” Dr. Snow said.

“Well that’s just peachy.” Len muttered, but part of him was thankful. He could easily corner Barry and get the answers he needed out of him, as he literally couldn’t leave.

“If someone else needs to come in and watch him-” Dr. Snow started.

“No,” Len sighed, “I’ve already come this far with his shit. You’ll just owe me another one.”

“Snart-” Dr. Snow said.

“Relax, doc, I won’t hurt him.” Len said, dipping back into his Captain Cold voice. “I can handle one more day. Oh, and order me some food. You’re buying.”

“Fine.” Dr. Snow huffed. “Is Big Belly Burger okay? Barry needs a lot of calories to regain his strength. More so than a normal human.”

Len agreed, rattled off his order, and hung up.

After waiting for forty agonizing minutes, and after finally dragging himself away to make himself a cup of coffee, Barry finally woke up.

“Snart?” Barry muttered, sitting up slowly. “You’re alive?”

“For the millionth time, yes.” Len said, easily slipping back into Captain Cold. “And you’ve saved the city, Mick isn’t here, and no, you’re not dreaming.”

“I take it we’ve had this conversation before.” Barry said.

“Perhaps once or twice.” Len said. “How are you feeling?”

“Um, like jelly. Actually like jelly got hit by a truck” Barry replied, as if testing out his body for the answer. He finally began to realize his surroundings. “Why? Wait, where am I? When did I get here?”

“Your friends dropped you off, don’t you remember that?” Len said, deciding to screw with him a bit. He had certainly missed it. “Something about being unable to resist my charms anymore and them giving me a gift for coming back from the dead? I mean, why do you think you’re not wearing pants?”

Barry sputtered, as red as his suit, looking outraged. “That didn’t happen! Now what really happened, Snart, or I’m going to run right back to Star Labs.”

“You’re so easy to toy with, Scarlet.” Len smiled, enjoying himself for the first time since he’d come back to Central City. “No, apparently, when you went after the metahuman virus, you stopped the bad guy but got the virus. Since both if your lovely science friends are metahumans, I graciously offered an old safe house that Mick could burn down when you were cured. Dr. Snow said you had to stay at least a day more so she can make sure you’re not contagious anymore. You owe me, by the way.”

Barry took in the information in silence. “How did you survive? Ray said you died.”

Len groaned. Of course it had been Raymond who spilled the beans.

“I didn’t so much survive as something put me back together.” Len admitted. “What I destroyed was basically time itself, and time has a way of functioning like it wants to, no matter what who tries to write life otherwise. And it wanted me back.”

Barry nodded. “What did it feel like?”

Len frowned. “I’m not sure I can put it in words. It felt…”

“Like a thrumming all over your body?” Barry offered. “Like a force, a force that felt like an eternity and one second all at once? Like every nerve on fire but no pain?”

“Something like that.”

“The speed force is what I call it, I think that’s it name.” Barry explained at Len’s awed look. “It’s how I got my powers, how all speedsters use their powers.”

“I’m not a speedster.” Len said. “I’ve never had any powers.”

“I’m not sure how to explain it.” Barry rubbed his hand on his neck.

The doorbell rang.

“Ah, food’s here. Courtesy of your Dr. Snow.” Len said, tipping the young man generously.

They ate in tensioned silence. It wasn’t quite uncomfortable, but Barry definitely knew something was different between them. Len had to admit though, Barry could put food away like a champ. He must’ve eaten five double cheeseburgers before Len finished his first one.

“All right, I can’t take this anymore.” Barry said. Len cocked an eyebrow. “There’s something you’re hiding from me. I know you, Snart, don’t try to deny it.”

“Call me Len, kid.” Len said. “I’ll not have this conversation with that name.”

Confusion took over Barry’s face. “Len, then.”

“We haven’t been on one date and yet you love me.” Len stated.

Barry blushed, and stuttered out, “What? What- what makes you sa- think that?”

“You told me.” Len said easily, taking a drink from his coffee. “You told me not five hours ago, right on that very bed.”

He wasn’t sure how, but Barry got even redder. “I did?”

“Yep.” Len popped the ‘p’. “I have to admit, your fever was at its zenith.”

“I was just sick.” Barry said defensively, entirely too quick to latch onto the excuse. “Nothing more! Totally just a fever dream, I probably thought you were Iris or Patty.”

“No you certainly did not.” Len said, starting to get annoyed at Barry’s obvious lie and his heart ached. “You were talking to me. You said you missed me and you thought it was your fault. You did not mistake me, Barry. You said you loved me.”

Barry’s mouth opened, as if going to lie again but he closed it.

“I don’t think I’m _in_ love with you.” Barry admitted.

“But there is something there?” Len easily saw through his lie of omission.

Barry blushed harder, ducking his head.

“Just get it over with already.” Barry muttered under his breath.

“Excuse me?” Len asked.

“Get it over with!” Barry said, fresh tears brewing. “Laugh at me, kick me out, leave me here alone, just do it already! Stop staring at me like that, I know I fell in love with someone who wouldn’t love me back, it’s a curse for me, I know! I know you don’t love me back so just make fun of me or kick me out or whatever! Just do it!”

Len stared at him, completely in shock.

Barry groaned. “Look, thanks for letting me crash here. But I think I’ll be better off somewhere else.”

He made to stand and wobbled a bit as he put weight on his feet.

“Sit back down.” Len said, harsher than he intended. Barry froze but stayed standing. “Seriously, Scarlet, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

Len easily moved him back to sitting on the bed.

“You never cease to surprise me, Scarlet.” Len said, finally regaining control of his thoughts. “I’m speechless.”

Barry stared warily at him.

“Why?” Len finally asked, sitting down beside him. “I’ve been nothing but cruel to you.”

“That’s not true.” Barry said. “I think it started when your father put that bomb in Lisa’s neck. You kept pushing me away, and I realized it wasn’t because you hated me. You didn’t want me there because you didn’t him to hurt me. I heard you, you know. After he ‘shot’ me. I heard the real grief in your voice, even if in that moment, you chose your sister over me, which I completely understand. And then you didn’t shoot me. He told you to, threatened Lisa’s life, and you didn’t shoot me. I mean, yeah, you shot your father but, off the record, I know exactly why you did. I’ve wanted to kill Reverse Flash plenty of times for murdering my mother. I just… didn’t. And then you let me visit you in prison, more than once! And then, when Mardon and Jesse broke you out, you totally could’ve taken advantage of that, of me, but you didn’t You even went so far as to warn me! I know you said that it was because of Lisa, but it didn’t feel like that to me. And then, you joined the Legends and Ray told me you died a hero. You died a hero and one of the last things I told you was there was good in you, that you could be more than just a thief.”

“I joined the Legends because Hunter played to my ego, and I thought I would be the smartest person in the room at all times.” Len admitted. “I thought I could steal from the greatest treasures of time and be remembered as the greatest thief of all time. If I’m being perfectly honest, I didn’t even think about you until we left and I started to miss you.”

Barry turned to look at him.

“You missed me?” Barry asked, and a small crack broke through Len’s heart.

“Since it seems we’re both baring our feelings today,” Len rolled his eyes, “yes I did.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“Are you going back to the Legends?” Barry asked, breaking the silence.

“Eventually, I suppose.” Len shrugged. “I’m not really sure if I have a place in this world anymore. When I first returned to Central City, I wanted nothing to do with them. Now, I understand why Mick stayed with them. I’ll end up going back, but probably not for a while.”

“So you’ll stay here?” Barry asked. “At least for a little while?”

Len nodded.

“Good. That’s good.” Barry said, awkwardness radiating off him like a neon sign.

A heavy silence hung in the air.

“Are you gonna ask me or are you gonna make me ask you?” Len said, unable to take it anymore.

“Ask?” Barry repeated.

Len rolled his eyes. “You want me to stay because you’ve got a thing for me. I missed you while I was galavanting through time. There’s some obvious sexual tension when we fight. Time, or the Speed Force, whatever you wanna call it, I think it gave me back to you. And, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but a… partnership between us could be,” Len shoved down the image somehow now vivid in his head, Barry happy, himself smiling, lying in bed together just enjoying life, “mutually beneficial.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” Barry asked, as if Len had asked him if he wanted a million dollars. Disbelief, confusion, but underneath, excitement, happiness, and so, so hopeful.

Len nodded jerkily. Mentally, he made a pact with himself. Lisa and Mick could never know, as they’d know how ridiculous he was acting and would make fun of him for the rest of their lives.

“I’d like that.” Barry’s quiet admission, like he couldn’t believe his eyes made up for how terrible a flirt he was being.

“Peachy.” He said, on instinct.

Barry laughed tiredly.

“You should get some rest.” Len said. “You’ve been out for the better part of two days, and that was just with me.”

Barry nodded slowly, laying back down. “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

Len nodded, resisting the urge to chuckle at Barry’s blush. “Go to sleep, Scarlet. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys! I'm back. Finally. Seen some shit, done some shit, lived, died, the whole shebang.
> 
> So this is my attempt at Whumptober, I'll be posting as much as I can, under this series. Not all will be Flash but each story will be Whumptober. Some will.
> 
> If you liked it, let me know! I'm always down to talk Flash! Come find me at bloodyfeverdreams on tumblr- if you can't find me that's because I'm in an ongoing technical battle with the staff for their algorithm constantly marking me explicit. I have no explicit content, by the way. Leave a comment or come say hi! Whatever you're comfortable with!


End file.
